The gift

Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.” – Mary Oliver – Thirst

How often have you gone through periods in your life when you have felt lost in your darkness, never believing that this could be a gift?

When we are in a crisis, it’s hard to see any upside however, overtime and with some distance, we have a choice to see the situation in a different light.  Some lost jobs lead to better jobs, some broken relationships lead to relationships that help us find deep happiness and some challenges lead us to healing.

There was nothing good about losing a son.  For many years I sat in darkness not ever imagining there could be healing and light beyond the pain.  It takes strength to look for the light, it takes courage to step out and rediscover you can trust again.

In my search to heal, I discovered there is a never-ending supply of love, peace and hope.  No one can convince us it is there.  Each journey is unique and we all need to follow the path that is right for us.  We all have a choice to find our inner strength and  see life in a different perspective.

Through difficult times, the path can seem overwhelming and yet, if we are able to find a deeper understanding of life, a deeper sense of who we are and be grateful for all we do have, then it is a gift.

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.” – Kim McMillen

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38 thoughts on “The gift

  1. Kaz, I have come to know that ‘our wounds are our gifts’ and in the darkness that the wound brings (which is awful) we have a choice to step into the light so that we truly heal. This process certainly isn’t easy but I’m grateful for my wounds because they challenged me to see the light and the magnificence of my life. Thank you for helping me to always choose the light! xxx

    1. Thanks Jules for always choosing the light. You are right, the process is not easy still, together we can see our way more clearly in the light and find exactly what we need. 🙂 I appreciate your comment.

  2. Thank you for liking my Goose Music post. I wanted you to know I thought of you when I was talking about when they are in the water (emotions). I use them as examples a lot in my SpiritWalks when people are grieving. We can be so nurtured by our feelings…and they (the geese) are so grounded with their feet in the mud, as they put their heads deep in the water. I also love Mary Oliver.

    1. It does make us wiser and stronger! Its seems the road to to get these wonderful gifts is often difficult, but Im not sure if there is another way? Thankyou for your comment Rommel.

  3. I once wrote a piece called ‘the Gift’ about the time I was badly assaulted.
    Basically, I was beaten off and on for about two hours. In the end, I willed the assailant to leave. What I learned about my power was simply astounding.
    I was left with terrible brain damage and it was estimated that my IQ was in the 80s and that the damage was permanent.
    I taught myself how to relearn, how to remember. I taught my brain how to function again. About a year later I began a two-year program for my masters degree.
    What a gift to find how much I could overcome!

    1. That is so awful Emilie and must have been very traumatic to live through. Your courage and strength is outstanding and your story shows just how vast and wide our ability is when we believe in ourselves. Thankyou for sharing your inspiring story.

      1. I have written the whole accounting but have held off posting it on my blog. I guess I just don’t quite feel like tossing that whole thing out there yet, even though it has been close to thirty years.

    1. When we are in the darkness it does feels like forever. I found accepting the pain, not knowing when it may end, actually helped me move through it. Resistance always seems to lengthen it. I wish you many blessings, thankyou for comment.

  4. It can be difficult to imagine that a brighter light can shine from within, when we are in the midst of our deepest darkness. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of what is possible when we realize who we are and what we are capable of being and creating. Blessings to you, dear Karen.

  5. You are so brave to have been able to look deeply into the darkness and come out shining your own light, a beacon for others. I am so sorry for the loss of your son, Karen, and so grateful for your sharing for it helps to heal others. Blessings and love to you.

    1. You too have known darkness and grief in this life. Each story on our journey is a reminder we are not alone and that there is always light, hope and peace to be found. Thankyou for your kind thoughts.

  6. I just want to thank you for sharing the depth of your pain with such honesty and the beauty and healing power of your insights. Your words and presence are a light in the darkness, Karen.

  7. Karen you amaze me with your chosen path and the loss that you and your family experience even today is always with you. But you strive to live through the pain. Its the little choices we make isn’t it? For me in the darkness of depression after losing my brother I began each day, putting one foot in front of the other and saying I will live a full life for him and all those gone before me. I admire your strength and passion for life my friend. Keep shining on.

    1. Thankyou Kath. It is in the small steps and the small choices each day that keep us moving forward, and you should be so proud of your courage and your choice to live the best way you could after your brother’s passing.

      Somehow as difficult at this was in the beginning, I always knew deep down this path was right for me and for my family. I am saddened at times when I see others unable to make those same choices, still, we are all on a unique journey.

      Its so wonderful to connect to like-minded people and this gives me hope and inspires me to live fully.

      1. I see these people too Karen but I know it is unique for all of us and no one can change another person. they have to choose to do this themselves. We have connected for a reason I believe in that.

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