“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation.” Paulo Coelho
One day Chuang Tzu and a friend were walking by a river. “Look at the fish swimming about,” said Chuang Tzu, “They are really enjoying themselves.”
“You are not a fish,” replied the friend, “So you can’t truly know that they are enjoying themselves.”
“You are not me,” said Chuang Tzu. “So how do you know that I do not know that the fish are enjoying themselves?”
How often do we think we know someone only to find them say or do something completely out of character? As a Counsellor, consulting with different types of people from different backgrounds, I am often surprised by the many layers we have within us.
It teaches me time and time again not to judge others for their interpretation of the truth and not to expect or assume I know their hearts or minds.
We all like to draw conclusions and judge those around us, especially those close to us. How often have we said “Oh they could never do that?” or “Change is impossible for them” each time we limit our belief of them, we block the potential of growth for ourselves and for those we love.
Often these limiting beliefs are just a reflection of our own limitations and fears. I have felt this many times over the years and as a result have judged others, but as I grow into a deeper understanding of myself and my potential, I am expanding my thoughts for others as well. It always begin with us.
Become aware of judgemental thoughts you have of others and notice when they arise in you.
Become aware of judgemental thoughts you have for yourself and notice when they arise in you.
Overtime you will see, we can be just as hard on ourselves as we are with others, and when we can change our harsh thoughts and learn to have compassion and acceptance for ourselves exactly as we are, only then can we expand that to others.
We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves
– Dalai Lama