Connection

Whenever I have felt alone, it is because I have lost my connection to the energy of love within me and  around me.  It’s normal to feel lonely at times, but for others, Christmas holidays can emphasize their isolation and disconnection.

Loneliness is a big problem in society no matter where we live in the world – Earlier this year, research by Professor John Cacioppo at the University of Chicago found loneliness to be twice as bad for people’s health as obesity and almost as great a cause of death as poverty.

In an era of instant communication via social media and phone, some would argue that it doesn’t make sense that people are lonely. Nevertheless, sharing — the antidote to loneliness — is not the same thing as talking about ourselves and our feelings to one another. Often people mask their loneliness by appearing happy and busy on Facebook or creating the illusion that they have it all, when deep down they feel isolated and misunderstood.

Loneliness is a feeling of separation, so how can we feel connected again?

Making an effort to step out of our comfort zone or where we normally feel safe, can help shift our mood.  Taking a break from social media, can also help us re-connect to our feelings and listen to our needs.  Sometimes all it takes is a walk in nature, where we may find a crowd of daffodils, or a beautiful tree to sit under where the birds may sing to us and remind us we are not alone.

Other times it may be talking to a friend about our feelings. But most importantly, if we do feel isolated, to reach out to those who will listen and support us.  Sometimes we have to do the thing we think, we cannot do.

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57 thoughts on “Connection

  1. Wanting to be in nature, wanting to wander among the cottonwoods. Perhaps at the wetlands full of birds who’ve migrated for winter. But the weather here in sunny Arizona has changed to that of the Midwest: cold, cloudy, blustery.
    I will look out to the mountains today and get that walk in as soon as the weather shifts.

    1. It is difficult to get out when faced with bad weather conditions, but sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine I am in nature, connecting to it’s stillness and beauty. Enjoy your walk Emilie.

    1. Really! How wonderful to see that Don. Wordsworth is indeed a gifted writer. I love this piece below.

      The Prospectus contains some of Wordsworth’s most famous lines on the relation between the human mind and nature:

      My voice proclaims
      How exquisitely the individual Mind
      (And the progressive powers perhaps no less
      Of the whole species) to the external World
      Is fitted:—and how exquisitely, too,
      Theme this but little heard of among Men,
      The external World is fitted to the Mind.

      Nature and the mind. A perfect fit.

  2. Yes! Sometimes the thing that one needs in a state of loneliness or depression is the very thing that feels most hard to do. Reaching out to who or what you know will make you feel better is so healing. Feeling connected to the Love or the All of Everything feels so much better than separation. Thank you Karen. Do you have daffodils right now?! Such a happy flower, and the fragrance! Mmmmm, It is snowing here right now. 🙂
    Much love,
    Mary

    1. We have daffodils here in the Springtime Mary. It is a beautiful happy flower like the sunflower, I find yellow very healing. It’s nice to snuggle up and go inward too, I wish you lots of yellow warmth and energy as you move through this nurturing winter. Thankyou for your warm kind comments. 🙂

  3. Yes, loneliness can feel toxic at times, even if one is surrounded by people. The holidays can really magnify the feelings of loneliness, and thank you for reminding us all to get out of our comfort zone and ask for help if we need it, in whatever shape that might be for each of us. Nature is always the gift for me that brings me back to center.

    1. Yes you have a good point, because I feel exhausted from social activities and love my time alone, whereas I have family members and friends who feel energized by people and events and hardly ever have down-time or solitude. They still need this time to re-balance as we do, but perhaps they are better at ignoring it. ~

  4. I love this poem too Karen.
    I also ponder the difference between being alone and feeling loneliness. I have felt loneliness in an unhappy marriage and have also felt at peace when I am alone in nature. It’s such an interesting place to explore for us humans! xo

    1. It is interesting Val, and I think it is different for all of us. Doing what feels right is important, and to honor and nurture that need in ourselves, creates balance. Blessings and hugs.

  5. I have never felt lonely Karen, and actually prefer to be on my own; it runs in the family actually, so appears to be a genetic predisposition. At the same time, I am not a misanthrope, and can readily enjoy the company of others – as you remark to Val, it is different for all of us.

    1. I am so glad you have never felt lonely Hariod. It is a gift to love our own company and also to share a connection with friends and loved ones too. I learn so much from my relationships with others, they are always teaching me more about myself.

  6. It seems illogical, but when we’re feeling disconnected from others, solitude, esp. in Nature, is a way to reconnect with ourselves first and foremost, wherein the emptiness dissipates.

    1. It’s definitely not illogical Eliza, I agree totally. I think for us who know nature as a healing tool, it is easy for us to re-connect and balance there, but for those who feel lost and alone, I think they need support and guidance and need to learn how to connect to the stillness.

  7. So helpful to me to pay attention to this – that when I feel connected, I am happy with company or when alone. And when I don’t feel connected, all the company in the world just exacerbates the loneliness.
    Thank you Karen.

  8. As you stated, feeling lonely is a normal feeling we experience sometimes. Being lonely, however, is a chronic state that often makes one feel isolated from the rest of the world. Refocusing on self needs; finding happiness from within while learning to reconnect with honest emotions provides an approach to help re-balance one’s life. Your world are precious this time of year. Thank you for sharing.

    1. No need to apologize! Thankyou Jonathan and you are so right, I think people forget they have the power to change the way they feel at anytime, it just takes practice and commitment to nurture. and as you say “refocus on our self needs.”

  9. Many feel isolated and disconnected only because they have lost sight of what Christmas means. We focus on the periphery not on the heart of Christmas. Jesus didn’t enter the world at the inn among the masses, but rather in a cave beneath the earth, unbecoming of a king. One who the isolated and disconnected could identify with. He came for all such people; the isolated and the disconnected. To reconcile Himself to all. To forge a relationship that would never again leave anyone feeling lonely who believed in Him.
    -Alan

  10. Thinking about this, I realize I have hardly ever experienced loneliness. I treasure the moments when I can be alone with the birds (or other wildlife) in nature. But I know people who feel lonely and try to be there when called for.

    1. I agree with you Helen. If we are connecting to nature and to ourselves regularly, we should never feel alone. Besides, you have a huge family in the Marsh that always keep you busy when you are home ha! 🙂

  11. The quote from the poem has a lot of meaning. Wordsworth was depressed after the death of his brother and his sister dragged him out for a walk. It was then they came across the daffodils. However, he did not write the poem for some time afterwards, remembering back of his joy in the midst of his sadness. Quite incredible.

    1. Thankyou Elizabeth for sharing the meaning behind this poem. I love knowing that. I can feel his pain as I read those words. It is true for us all. That when we are faced with grief and pain we feel disconnected from life and each other. Connecting back takes time and patience, but it is worth the effort, as Wordsworth found.

  12. Karen sometimes you can be in a crowded room and still feel alone. As I age Im more comfortable with it but also love a good get together as well. I guess its about finding your own balance. Daffodils fill me with light, such a pretty colour and poem.

  13. This is so true. I’m constantly preaching the need to disconnect (from your phone, social media etc.) to reconnect (with people face-to-face, nature, yourself, your spirit, etc.)! Thanks for sharing on this idea of loneliness and ways to overcome it. And I love this well-known Wordsworth poem.

  14. This was a post to remember and ponder, Karen. It is hard to find moments to treat ourselves to silence and separation from media. I am less lonely now but in most of my adult life I have had someone other than family to give me love and comfort. I love my kids and grandchildren but I hope for a partner to share their world as I would gladly share mine. I try to be grateful for all that I have and hope the universe will lead us to meet. I have been alone for 9 years. Short one year attempts with love 2 x in that space of time. 🙂

    1. I often get my clients to visualise what they want in a partner and practice seeing this in their life or see where in their life they are blocking this from being received. It is one of the steps to help us receive what we need. Dream your life into being!!!

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