Why compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.” ~Unknown
The first question we need to ask ourselves is whether we actually believe we are lovable. Over the years I have put a lot of pressure of myself to be perfect and this takes a lot of energy to keep up. Of course this type of belief falls short overtime because none of us is perfect and so keeping up with the illusion is very difficult.
Most of us feel that only “certain parts” of ourselves are lovable. So we are happy to show the perfect, “nothing bothers me” side to others but perhaps not the negative, sad side of ourself because we believe that no-one would love that part of us. This is where the process of self judgement starts to deplete our energy and love for ourself and others.
We do it unconsciously all day, every day. Just pay attention. Any time we are comparing, judging, or simply being negative we are depleting our energy, which makes us feel bad, and therefore makes us want to do it more. So how do we get out of this pattern of dislike and judgement on ourselves?
- Validate our feelings, “It’s okay to feel bad sometimes.”
- Refrain from judging or placing negativity on our thoughts or feelings.
- Give ourselves time to enjoy life and learn to nurture your needs.
- Listen to and respect your inner-self and intuition.
- Reassure ourselves that what we are experiencing will pass.
- Remind ourselves of all the wonderful things that we are.
- Be grateful for the little (and big) things in our lives.
When you are feeling down on yourself, write a list of the goals and achievements you have succeeded in and write about the positive parts of yourself. When you begin to focus on everything that is right in you, you will be so surprised how you become more tolerant and accepting of others as well.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection” – Gautama Buddha